Cosy place

Postaday, Writting challenge

It was in the middle of compaign around the border between France and Germany. It was small. A small city of 6,000 people. I lived there for six years during which i grew up into almost the person i am now. Almost.

At the age of twelve, i must have been in my second year of middle school, entering in a new building as the other one was about fifty years old. My home was five minutes away from the first school. Then, when school moved out, i was fifteen minutes away. Too far for my taste. I was used to wake up ten minutes before class started. With the new building, i couldn’t anymore. My high school, on the other hand, was literally three minutes away from my place. Way better. There was a theater right across the street. But unfortunately, it had only two rooms. And movies came late. After seeing a movie, i usually used to get some food. We just needed to go down one road and there they were : all restaurants.

I lived in a huge appartment with five rooms, all located at the left of the main and only entrance, a kitchen, a laundry room, toilets, and one big bathroom that welcomed my bunny’s home, at the beginning. It was my forth house in twelve years. It felt like home. I loved it.

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Lost letter

Postaday

Dear Father,

I’m not a believer. I don’t believe in a powerful entity who created life and Earth in seven days. Well… Six as the last one, He rested. But i believe in humanity. In people. I believe that people can change, change for the better and do amazing things. For them and for others. But somehow, it doesn’t apply to you. I don’t know why, but i don’t believe in you. I don’t believe you can change. Maybe you have but i won’t see it. I don’t want to see it, as matter as a fact. So i’m writting you this message to tell you what i can’t say out loud.

I miss you… sometimes. You left a big hole in my life. Not only mine. And i don’t know even why. At some point of my short existence, i wanted to know the answer to that question. Your version of the story so i don’t hate you for no reason. But with time, i let it go. I let my anger fade away with your absence. I stopped thinking about you to be able to live my life as normally as i could. So i’m not stuck to the past which doesn’t even belong to me.

So i’m gonna ask you to stop. Stop trying to connect with us. It’s too late. You’re twenty years too late. You made your own life away from us so let us make ours away from you. I don’t hate you. I don’t love you. I just don’t care anymore.

Your forgotten daughter.

Faded Happiness

Writing challenge

My favorite childhood meal… It’s not really a meal. It’s more a candy: Crunch. And it’s not really my favorite either, it’s just… It reminds me of a picture i lost along my several moves. I’m not even sure that picture has really been taken. That souvenir was from my nineth birthday. Or so i thought until few days ago when i calculated how many time i’ve been in this country.

I arrived in 2002, so it’s been twelve years. Twelve years. That’s long. Anyway, few months later, my cousine, her husband, some of his family, my cousin and his wife, and my aunt organised me a birthday party. It was actually pretty cool. Well, heck it! It was awesome. The best birthday party i ever attended. I don’t remember having any presents but there was just one thing i remember clearly: my father was there. It was the first time i’ve seen him in many years.

We went to a park next door. All kids played soccer but without rules.  Adults were next the table eating all afternoon and watching us having fun. It was like anarchy but in a funny way. I remember laughing a lot, smiling all the time. My father joined us, trying to keep up. You know how funny it is to see an adult in his fifty playing football with ten years old kids? I loved it. The next memory i have from that day is the lake at the opposite way of the park. I was sitting by the lake with him. He was at my left and i was holding a bar of Crunch in my hands. I’m not a big talker and neither was he. I guess i got that from him. At that time, i was just a kid without any money, and i didn’t really needed it, but i wasn’t living in wealth. So him buying me a chocolat bar meant something special to me.

Now everytime i see a chocolate bar of Crunch, i remember that sweat happy memory and can’t help but buy one.

Really?

Writing 101

It’s Monday morning and i was late to work so i rushed out of my house. I caught the bus at the last minute, out of breathe and sweating like a gazelle who ran trying to save her life from the lion king. I sprawled myself on a seat and let myself drive to the other side of the city. More we went far, more the bus got crowded and soon there would have been any space for anyone to even just stand still. The bus stopped at my station. I sneaked out but those whom were waiting rushed inside without paying me any attention. I made my way through that violent crowd and finally touched the ground safe and sound. I looked up and let out a sigh when a teenager ran into me. I saw my phone slipping through my fingers, flying from my hips to the ground between my feet than smashed the floor. The world has stopped for a minute. All i could hear was that sound my phone made when he met Earth. The young man left without turning back. So did the bus. I picked up my phone hoping he was fine and it was just a scary funny story to tell. I looked at the screen and was horrified: it was cracked… from the right bottom to the left top. I typed twice on it checking if everything is ok. I waited thirty seconds and finally: the light went on and an image appeared. I slid my thumb over the drawing and discover the home screen. Everything seemed fine. Then he died. I stared at the dark screen for a moment. Tears in my eyes. I gathered myself then walked as fast as i could to the next bus that would drive me home. I checked on the internet a place where they could fix my phone. I found an adress and headed there. Arrived, i told them what happened and they said to me it will take them the day to repair my phone. I left them my precious treasure then walked out. I decided not to go to work as my day didn’t start as well as usual. I took a walk in a park next to the phone hospital. I felt strange. Every ten seconds, my hand checked my pocket. Every ten seconds, i remembered that my phone wasn’t with me anymore. Every ten seconds, my heart jumped out of my chest. I was nervous, all sounds coming to me was a threat to my ears. The wind made trees dance, leaves floated over the sandy floor. As i was about to do a second time around the park, my legs couldn’t hold me anymore. Tremors raised more and more through my legs to my arms, giving me chills. I was about to scream when she arrived.

It was Monday morning, the sun made his appearance but the cold air of winter began to be felt. Everyone put out their scarf to avoid being sick. But i trusted the sun to warm us up and decided to get dressed as usual: with my new kimono i got from my last trip in Japan. It was a day off for me… Well, to be honest, i called my boss to say i was sick. Thanks to my current theater, i managed to convince him. For this extended week-end, i decided to shop to get me a little dress and some shoes that will go with it. After a hard and difficult research at the mall, i choose to have lunch at the park next door. I sat down in front of a big fountain representing three daughters’ of Zeus :  Euphrosyne, Aglaea and Thalia whom where naked holding a jar full of water over their shoulder. I always wondered, why everyone has to be naked in Greek mythology? As soon as i finished my sandwich, i headed toward the exit when i came across a man who seemed to suffer. I was torn between helping him or walk far away from him. My good conscience won the battle that has beganin my mind. Right before he was about to crack, i went to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked up. I gave him a ‘Are you ok?’ smile and showed him a bench where we could sit. He stumbled several time, the bench is ten steps away from us… I helped him walk straight. We sat down for a moment, time for him to catch his breathe and control his anxiety attack. I asled him if he was ok, insinuating : ‘What’s going on with you?’ but he didn’t answered. He started to sweat a lot. It got me worried so i decided to take him to a hospital. Along the way, he had others anxiety attacks and grabbed my hand as if it would calm him down. We walked few steps, passed in front of an old lady knitting a small, red sweater. She looked at us like we were a couple. I tried to make her understand that we weren’t with a look but i guess, she didn’t understant as she smiled at me. I turned my head, desperate for someone to come help me get rid of this man but no one came. Few seconds later, he suddenly stopped. I looked at him, trying to find any signs of trouble when he fell down. I watched him head down on his knees. I looked around and people were watching us. I started to get embarrassed but a squeeze in my hand intrigued me. I looked at my hand. We are still holding hands. I squatted next to him. ‘Are you alright?’ i asked him. He was staring at his shoes, his eyes wide open. He mumbled something.

It was… What day was it? Monday. I remember. A new week has began and bingo has been cancelled because of the high level of dead recently. It’s ridiculous. We are in a retirement home. Of course, there will be dead. They gave us our morning to do whatever we want but we had to stay in the perimeter of the retirement house. I went to the livingroom, sat down on my favorite chair and started to knit. I thought it would a quiet morning but i was wrong. Nurses came to me, checking if i was still alive as i fell asleep every five minutes in this warm and cosy room. I am still tired of staying up until 9 pm yesterday. I decided to take a walk to my bed. They did not count on my old friend, Jasmine, who just turned ninety and believed that was the age where you could do anything without being questionned. She was not wrong. She interrupted me in my marathon to my room and started her long usual conversation about the weather and young people who don’t respect their elder anymore. Time has changed. I cut her in the middle of a sentence and took the opposite way i was going. As a retired ninja, i kept an eye at nurses and guards pace and sneaked out as fast as i could. I managed to get outside the property, with a lot of luck, i thought to myself. I choose to go to the park where i didn’t go for a long time now. I had my knitting with me, so i took a seat on a bench and began a sweater for my grand-son. Around midday, i looked up, starting to get hungry, and i saw this cute young couple walking hand in hand. I stared at them as they walked by. They reminded me of the old time. Me and my departed husband used to take a walk every day, just to catch up on our day or to say nothing and just be together. When i regained my senses, a smile appeared on my face. The young woman gave me a strange look then turned her head to someone else. What is wrong with people those days? I started to go back to the retirement home where food is served at this hour of the day. In front of me, the couple has stopped their walk. The man got down on his knees as he was still holding his girlfriend’s hand. Is he going to propose? It’s a nice place to ask someone to marry. But the man didn’t say anything. He kept looking down, still on his knees. The young lady got at his level and started to talk. I couldn’t hear what she said but even with my crappy ears, i heard what the man replied in a whisper : ‘Lumia is dead.’ I turned my gaze to head to my hot meal.

The young woman stood up, thunderstruck about that sentence. She cleared her hand, glanced one last time at the strange man and walked away from him. In choir, the old lady and the young woman sighed : ‘Pathetic.’

Pointless story

Writing 101

There was a huge table in the middle of a large room that welcoms six co-workers. I shared this huge table with three others people. The guy at my left aplied himself to his small sculptures. The one in front of him kept moving around trying to stay busy as possible. In front of me, there was the youngest amongst them. He just sat down after he disappeared for about twenty minutes. At the same moment, a woman, who was sitting next to him, stood up, went straight to the door he went through and slammed it : ‘Always need to shut the door behind him. Sick of it’ she mumbled. But loud enough for the youngest guy to hear.

They started to argue. As their conversation got intense, their voices raised a little bit more at each word. When they reached the climax of their argument, the boss came in. The young man “shhhes’ his opponent then she replied : ‘I don’t care. Don’t ‘shhh’ me.’ After that, they ceased their discussion. A heavy silence settled. Nobody dared to say a word for ten minutes. All we could hear was the noises of all machines surrounding us. The mood got tense, almost unbreathable. Hours went by and the atmosphere didn’t get any lighter.

Do you remember?

Imagination

I remember. It was July, 2014. It was… Where was it? Oh, right, we were on that big island : you, for vacation and I lived there. We met in a fast food. I was waiting for you at the bar for five minutes now. I thought you weren’t coming until I see you step in. You were wearing snickers. It was winter but on that island, winter’s temperature were around 25 degrees. With your snickers, you wore some shorts, probably to balance your outfit, and a T-shirt. Red. As to show your determination in life. Each step you made was full of confidence. Or so I thought. The atmosphere around you was peaceful, quiet and carefree. You looked up to the ceiling, admiring the design of the room and let the mood fill your innocent eyes. You came closer and the smile that illuminated your face, disappeared slowly. When you sat down, you looked serious suddenly. Your eyebrows are pleated marking a dimple in between and making your eyes smaller than they already are. You stared intensely what was in front of you and didn’t even see me. You took off your hat, put it on the table and order a drink: ‘Coke, please’. I noticed you moved your head, slightly, in rhythm. Suddenly, you laughed at something, then you saw me seeing you and  tried to contain it. The barman gave you your drink, a small light appeared in your eyes. It was a treasure for you that you needed to carry very preciously. You looked at your phone, texted to someone and put your phone away. You didn’t seem to worry about anything.

After a moment, you gave me an intense look right in the eyes, trying to gather all your convictions, then deflected on something far behind me. That’s when he entered. At this moment, I knew: this conversation we’re about to have will change everything. Nothing will be the same. He sat next to us. You glanced at me one last time, pulling your hair back. He followed your eyes to his reflection then turned to me: ‘I’ve been waiting to see this image for a long time now.’ I looked at him and mumbled with a broken voice: ‘Nice to see you…Dad’.

Is it rain?

Postaday, Writing 101

It’s the end of the day, a big storm is coming, dark huge clouds have invaded the sky with loud roar followed by few lightnings illuminating the room.

That sweat sound came to his ears, giving a grave tone to a lost note he was reading, as the rain was dropping.

Confidential : The end of Humanity shall start soon. Be prepared.’

He looked outside, his eyes wide open : what he thought was rain is, in fact, people falling upside down under the surveillance of the Creator.

He suddenly felt his body getting higher, his feet left the ground and his face got closer to the ceiling, then, before his nose touched the roof, he’s sharply pulled down to finally hit the flo… He woke up.

Brevity Pulls

Chapter One

A story

Sunlight came through the window to end up on his face, giving him a sweet heat. He opened suddenly his eyes, his retinas retracted due to the change of brightness, his forehead was sweating and his heartbeat went faster as if he had run a mile in sprint. He felt lost between reality and dreams when he suddenly heard a voice putting him out of this state of confusion.

– ‘Chris?… Chris! Wake up! Your breakfast is ready. Get prepared for your first day. I have to go to work… An emergency i need to fix right now. I’ll be home around 8 pm.’

The young man raised his arm to let his father know he got it. As soon as his arm touched the floor, the door closed and footsteps departed. He lay for a while staring at the ceiling, his arm on his forehead, and waiting for the alarm to ring.

His new high school, in which he will spend the rest of his schooling, was like a city in a city. Big walls surrounded different buildings isolating students in a timeless space, away from the outside world and probably from any distraction. The teenager stood in front of an imposing gate where an almost constant stream of students and professors walked through every day. As he observed the sign overhanging the entry, a man, around his forty, white hair, wrinkles marked on his face, a black suit with a white shirt beneath a red tie, walked toward him with confidence and an almost forbidden authority. The old man introduced himself as the dean of Sung High and led the way to his office to finalize Chris’ registration. Without asking any question, Chris followed the dean through a huge garden in front of what seems to be the main building. His office was roomy, secluded and calm, away from the hubbub of residents of the facility. His desk was in front of the door, almost against the wall. In between the door and the desk, there were two sofas facing each other, between which was installed a coffee table. Hanging on the walls, we could see different degree obtained by the director. Few shelves gave the room a bureaucrat appearance.

The man in suit invited Chris to take a seat while he collected a file on his desk. The young man did so in silence. The fact that the dean himself took care of him was strange. I’m just a student like any other so why the head of high school needed to welcome me, he thought. The dean sat down, opened the file, read it and started to comment: ‘Chris Turner, 17, born in Mahajunga. Spend his first two years of high school in Eltic High, lead his basketball team to championship final and win it. Good grades… You seem to be a serious student as i can see.’ He looked at the teenager to detect any reaction, but this one stayed imperturbable. The dean continued his reading in silence for two minutes then closed the file and put it on the black table. The two men exchanged a long look before the director stood up to take few papers on his desk. ‘Here. I need your signature on the bottom of those pages. It will confirm officially your registration in our school.’ he said, giving the young man a pen. ‘I give you a copy of those documents and your schedule. You’re starting with History. What a chance. I will lead you to your class as soon as we finish’, he continued. ‘Any questions?’ When he was done, Chris looked up deeply to his interlocutor then turned his head to the small sign where was engraved the dean’s name:

Dr. Michael Laine

He stared at the dean again then shook his head as an answer. A smile was drew on Dr. Laine’s face and let the new student know that it was time for him to meet his new classmates. They took the same path as before in reverse then entered in another building which seemed to be older than the first one. They went on the second floor, walked through a silent, and kind of scary, corridor. When suddenly, the dean stopped. Chris almost hit him. He waited in the hallway while the director interrupted a class and motioned to the teacher to follow him. The dean and the teacher stepped away from the young man and started to whisper as they gave few looks at Chris. Instantly, the latter knew. They are aware of my past. After a minute, the dean left without a word and the teacher led the way into the classroom.

When he put a foot in the room, every eye were staring at him. He scanned the room then went in the back where a seat was vacant. The professor waited few seconds giving the newcomer time to settle then continued his lecture on Japan’s History. Chris’ attention wasn’t directed to the teacher but through the window. Towards outside. The vast world. After only ten minutes, a bell rang announcing the end of class and the beginning of the break. Everyone ran toward the exit as if the door would suddenly close trapping them forever in that room. The young man took his time, waited for everybody to stop walking on each other and went out safely. On his way to a noiseless place, he ran into a girl. She stumbled and dropped her books on the floor. As a reflex, they both reached for her books and stood together. Chris disappeared instantly in the crowd before the girl could say anything. Okay, she thought.

She looked toward the way the new one left for a while when a friend called her: ‘Karen! What’re you doing? Let’s go!’ As the day went by, she observed him discreetly: he stayed alone, in his world, in any and each of class. He was staring at the outside world and didn’t pay any attention to teachers or even his classmates. He didn’t speak to anyone. She didn’t hear his voice once at least. Every time she stared at him, she found something disturbing about his attitude. Something really sad. At the end of the day, her friends and her went to a coffee shop with free WIFI, put their computers out on the table and tapped : Chris Turner on google.

– ‘So? Have you found anything yet?’ asked Malcolm Reese, as he arrived late.

– ‘Name: Chris Turner… I mean Chris is not a short version of his name, it’s really Chris’ answered John Porter, disturbed by this information.

– ‘We don’t care. What else?’ interrupted James Akan.

– ‘He lived in LA until a week ago – about a week ago, a week ago… Ok, i stop – His father is the head of a large company. We don’t really know what they do but it seems to work pretty well’ continued John, slightly irritated by the remark.

– ‘He doesn’t have any siblings.’ said Charlotte Peterson. ‘He doesn’t have Facebook either… That’s weird.’

– ‘And Twitter?’ asked James.

– ‘He has one but he doesn’t tweet anything.’ answered Sarah Johnson. ‘Do you have anything else on his parents?’

– ‘Yes.’ replied instantly Karen Sawyer. ‘His father is Miles Turner… Whoa, the founder of ASU company. Married to Jean Roy… Who died… Six months ago…’

Outside the coffee shop, on the other side of the street, a young man was staring at the group of high school students. When they discovered about Jean Roy, he felt a wave of anger growing inside him. He walked away in a small alley before he exploded. At the end of the dark and dirty road, the young man stopped in front of a wall. He stood still for few seconds trying to calm himself down. He slowly closed his hand as he’s containing his emotion. Head down, all the memories popped in his mind. Painful memories that he tried so hard to erase. As he was about to break down, he suddenly jumped but never went back on the ground. He went straight through the troposphere then the stratosphere to finally coming back down near rooftops. He flew between several towers and landed in a small street where nobody could see him. He took his time to get out of that street and get home. As soon as the door opened, a man came in the hallway, with a smile on his face. Chris and his father shared a look for a while. Then the teenager went up in his room. His father watched him climbing the stairs and disappearing behind a red door.

Six months ago, i lost my wife and my son…

To be continued

Power of Music

Writing challenge

I mostly listen to Hip Hop music – when i say hip hop, i’m talking about rap and r’n’b – because of the rhythm. I don’t understand all of the lyrics but the sample can just entertain me. Lyrics could be about politic but if the beat is good, i will love that song. Not for the lyrics but the beat.

I mostly listen music by period. I can listen to only one song for weeks. The same song again and again and again. Without being bored by it. I just can be stuck to one song for a very ong time. Usually, when it’s happening it’s because – again – of the rhythm, the mood that set up the song and the meaning of the lyrics. I have a lot of songs that represent different time of my life. Mostly of them might be sad but i always found a way to step up, move on and pass it. So, i have more than three important songs – I think – in my life. But i’m gonna pick up three of them randomly and trying to put you in my mood at the time i was listenning to it.

About Today – The National

About Today by The National… Actually, i discovered this song not long ago thanks to a friend who recommend me a movie in which it was played perfectly – the movie was Warriors – First, when i saw the scene with the song in the background, i just cried. Well almost cried, tears where on my eyes – is that english? – So when the credits came out, i just looked for that particular song. I checked it on youtube then i legaly donwload it. For the next few days, ok not days but months – at least two i think – i was just listening to that song. All day long. Even at night – because i listen to music when i sleep, without that i can’t fall into Morphee’s arms. And oddly, the more i listen to the song, the more i was beat down. I questioned the meaning of life – which was not the first time but it’s getting more serious every time – the reason of me living the way i live. I asked myself a lot of questions without getting any good answers. Like why am i even aliev? What am i supposed to do with this life that was given to me? Because, to be frank, i have this kind of ‘easy’ life and when i look around me – when i say around, i mean in the world, not just my neighborhood – i see people whom are in such a miserebale place – and by miserable, i mean their environment – but are so amazing, amazingier – if it’s a word. If it’s not, well, it’s gonna be a new one – than me. So why i, the person that has no special talent and no purpose, have a more confortable life than someone who wanna do big things and who dreams big? Why do i get that chance? I still don’t know the answer to that question. So when i listen closely to the lyrics of About Today, i felt like… Yeah, that close to what i feel. I didn’t say, but on top of those unanswered questions, i felt like my dream, my own dream was slipping away from me. Or not, it’s not even that: i was the one who slipped away. I slipped away from my own dream. Do you realize how low is that? How low i could feel? – I don’t know if you realize, but it was pretty bad – At some point, i didn’t even care about my life anymore. I thought that i died right in the minutes, someone else would’ve take my place and live my life – but i realize later that it wasn’t possible, or it could be but there were some stuff to take care of before and i wasn’t in the mood to think smartly – So as i listen to the song, i was imagining my dream talking to me with the lyrics. When it says : ‘How close am i to losing you?’ that’s my dream asking me how close he was to losing me – and yes, i imagine my dream as a human being male… Leave me be – I felt like everytime the song repeats, i get this ‘chance’ to have a conversation with my dream – which is more like my conscience that put me in a the right way – and to refocus on what i should really do. But it took time, i’m not gonna lie. It’s like the more ‘he’ asks about me drifting away, the more i try to get back on my feet and putting myself in a positive… – I don’t have the word… I lost it… – place!! – There we go – After a while, around… Maybe a month and a half of depression, i climbed back that huge mountain that is life, did small little things that i like – because i was becoming a huge beached cachalot – trying to keep myself busy and not to think to much about me being gone. Day after day, i put myself together and i set up a goal for this song that could help me get rid of those feelings that pushed me down. Get free of it: i decided to draw my version of the song. When i looked for it, at the beginning, on youtube, i didn’t find any clip – there’s still not – so i decided to create a clip with my own tools. The storyline was in my mind since the beginning, all i needed to do was to put it on paper. And that’s what i did. I draw a small story, put all my feelings in it and put it on my wall – literally – Since the day i finished it, i still think about death and all the questions about the meaning of life but in a more lighter way. Like it’s something that is going to happen, soon or later, and i have to achieve what really matter to me in the mean time. In the end, that song really helped me think differently than before. Or maybe it’s just me growing up and it has nothing to do with the song… No! Let’s say it was the song, because i really like it. Today, i still can listen About Today, with a point of nostalgia and a lot of love, amusement – i don’t know which one, really… Pleasure!! – And a lots of pleasure.

May i never find – Chris Brown

Chris Brown. I know, i know. Y’all are going to tell me that he’s a violent guy, not an example for the young generation, etc. I agree. What happened between him and Rihanna – Rihanna and him? – is really horrible, not something to laugh at and it’s an important matter, problem, subject. Ok. But – yes, there is a but – i don’t really care about that. I feel sorry for Rihanna, of course – i’m not a horrible person – but when i talk about Chris Brown, i’m talking about his music. Not his personal life. With that being said, let’s get back to our prompt.

So, i put one song : ‘May i never find’, but it’s more about the album in itself. His very first one. It calms me down. Well, used to. Because, now, i don’t really get upset about much things. So everytime someone pisses me off, i don’t scream or punsh everything – or everyone – around me. I just close myself to the world, shut myself up and put music in my hears. Everytime, it’s gonna be Chris Brown’s first album. I don’t know why, but the old school – i consider it like old school. Today’s hip hop beats are mixed with electro, it’s kind of disgusting… Well most of what i hear on the radio – beat, sound and the voice that goes with it just calms my nerves, relaxes my heartbeat and free my mind of all the bullcrap i am in. I listen to that album over and over again until i’m calm enough to talk and fix everything up with that person that put me in the dark side. If i’m not calm, i won’t talk to anyone. It’s a principle. Why? I saw way too many movies where the characters say things they shouldn’t say or are going to regret to the people they are upset with. So, to avoid that, because i can say horrible things if i ever speak my mind, i just prefer to shut up, let the storm pass and then try to fix the problem. But when i say i’m calm enough to talk, it doesn’t mean that i’m not upset anymore. It’s just that i took a step back, thought everything through and, depending on the person’s reaction, kick that person out of my life or not. Or just literally kick that person – it happened.

Désolé – Sexion D’Assaut

It’s a french rap music. From a french group – obviously – who was discored by the public with that song. Well, there was another song before this one, but this is better than the first single. This made me like them. The lyrics are about being sorry to not being amazing, about their hard past life. But i don’t really like this song for the lyrics. Well, i do but it reminds me of my last year of high school, that’s the reason why i particularly like it.

My senior year of high school. I just moved in a new town, i knew nobody there. New rules, new way of speaking, new accent, new people, higher level. At the beginning of that year – well, like every beginning of any year since then – i didn’t really talk to anyone. Because i didn’t want to. I don’t have anything to say, that’s the main reason, as matter as a fact. It’s just that. So, when they saw me, alone, minding my own business, some people came to me. They were nice. Thanks to them, i was introduced to the entire class i was in. And even the entire senior students. So the year gos by, i made friends, everything went fine and the song came out. Most of us were crazy about it. We all knew the chorus and the last word of every sentence. Everytime – i say a lot ‘everytime’, it’s weird – someone is saying sorry, someone else starts to sing the chorus and we finish it together. It was funny. There’s one day, i was listen to the song on the radio and i just wrote the lyrics on my philosophy paper. I kept writing my dissertation – i don’t remember the subject – finished it and went to sleep. As i was lying on my bed, i was thinking : Maybe i should erase what i wrote… Then i fell asleep. The next morning, i completly forgot about it. I gave my paper to the teacher and life went on. It was on the inside, so i couldn’t see it and erase it quickly. Like, maybe, two weeks or three weeks later, she gave us back our dissertation with our grades – i don’t remember either the grade i had, it must have been around 10-12/20. I wasn’t that brillant in that class – I looked at my paper, opened it to see the comments she made then i saw it : there was the chorus written with a pencil and below, there was her hand writing in red saying something lika this :

If you have any problems in your mind or at home, i just want to let you know that i’m here in school hours, if you ever feel like talking to anyone. Even days where we don’t usually have class together.

It made me laugh. Obviously, she didn’t know the song. I showed it to my friends, they laughed too. Then i thought to myself : Well, that’s a good teacher. It’s good to know. She’s nice. Later, three years later, a friend of mine, the only one i kept in touch with since the end of high school, told that story to her friends. I don’t know about their reactions, she told me they laughed. It was epic. I need to find that paper.

Oh, the chorus says – roughly :

‘And i had to live by the streets

Step by step, i’m telling myself it can’t be true

Dad, Mom, i’m sorry

I feel like isolating myself.’

Each song has a meaning for me. It represents a certain moment of my life, a memory that i can’t and i won’t forget. It brings me back in time when i need it.

Weird unlocking mind

Writing challenge

I have twenty minutes to unlock my mind… ok. What to talk about?

I took my longboard to go to work today. First time, it was exhausting. I ate a ‘consistent’ breakfast – Miss independant, to the fullest – but it took all my energy.

Whooooa! I’m so tired. I felt two weird pressure on my back this afternoon like someone was poking me. But nobody was behind me, so i felt weird… It was weird. Like litterally someone was touching me. I freaked out.

Sometimes love comes around; And then knocked you down, knocked you down…. but it happens…

Whoooa! My back ache so much. I might need a massage.

Now that i think about it, i don’t have much to say.

They’re talking about taxes on TV. I wonder how it works. How they calculate it. The dude on TV has a weird head. Like the top is big and it’s getting thiner as you go down.

Tryna let go… Nananana

Oh! They’re now talking about Netflix.

If this love only exist in my dreams…. Don’t wake me up. Inside my cup. If i wake and you’re here still… About your lips…

Whoooooa! – That’s my yawning, by the way.

I’m cold… My right elbow ache for no reason. I should turn the light on, it’s getting dark. And the light of my computer’s getting stronger.

Seven minutes left. Sblah!!!!

Hey chick, imma lost for words.. My swagg and my confidence from.

My eyes are closing themself… I need to review my lessons… But i don’t want to.

What’s up!!? – What? – Sblah!! My brain is dead.

Ha! My song just came out: I don’t care, i’m aware she makes me cry baby, cry!!!…Was to get rid of me!…I don’t know about the world, but i know of a girl, i don’t care… I wanted her, but she wouldn’t!…Cry!! Baby! Cry!! Baby!!…It was september!…I smile at her, she passed at me!… Under!… Fresh!… Sister!…In the prom dress!