The Messenger

A day in my life, A day in my mind, Imagination, IRL

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The Messenger | This is a long one | If you have a chance to say one last thing to someone you lost: what would you say?

The lasts scenes were something i personnally lived. Seeing an empty appartment – once again – but this time, the goodbye was slightly different. More like a ‘real farewell’. The kind i didn’t expect to say or feel before i would be very old. Or never, actually. But it happened.

This will also be – hopefully – my lasts drawings about it. I’m moving forward. I can’t stay still forever.

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Therapy

A day in my life, A day in my mind, Imagination, Random Thoughts

I waited five minutes before the only door at the end of the hallway opened. A man appeared behind it. A dark suit on with a white shirt and a red tie. I thought it was a bit too dress up for a psychologist. But whatever. I stood up as he greeted me then suggested i enter in his office. The room was pretty large, allowing a desk surrounded by three chairs, a couch and a library to coexist. It was quiet. The closed door isolated us from any sound coming from the outside world. A bubble. Safe and dangerous at the same time. He offered me a seat on the couch, right away. I waited for him to sit first then mimicked him. I sat at the edge, far away from him. I look at him: he had a notebook he already wrote on. When he was done, he looked up to me, gave me a smile then waited. After a long minute, anxiety grew in me.

– ‘What are we supposed to talk about?’ i asked.

– ‘I don’t know. What do you want to talk about?’ he replied.

– ‘Euhm, i don’t know.’

– ‘I see that you keep on looking around. What’s on your mind?’ The remark surprised me. I thought i was subtile. I shook me head and raised my shoulders as an answer. ‘You must be thinking of something.’ he insisted.

I hated those kind of questions: what do you think about? Do you trust me? Well, before you asked me that, i did trust you. Now, i think you’re suspicious. So, no, i don’t. When the psychologist said i must be thinking about something, my mind went blank: i stayed quiet. He looked at his watch. I checked the clock on the wall. Seven minutes has passed.

– ‘So we just let the hour pass in silence?’ I slightly nodded. ‘Why did you came here for, then?’ He asked.

– ‘I was asked to. My brother… asked me to.’

– ‘And you always do what he ask you to do?’

– ‘Not always.’

– ‘Why did you choose to do this?’ I thought about it: i was about to say that i didn’t know, but, obviously, it would end the conversation short.

– ‘I don’t know.’ I said it anyway. ‘By curiosity… I guess’ He wrote it down.

– ‘Just out of curiosity? Do you know why he asked you to come to therapy?’

– ‘Euhm, i guess because he’s going to therapy himself. Maybe he wants me to experience the same thing. So that i can undersand.’

– ‘Understand what?’

– ‘Why he’s going to therapy.’

– ‘And do you understand it?’

– ‘I do.’

– ‘Sounds like you didn’t need this to get it.’ I smiled. ‘And why do you think he’s going to therapy?’ I took a minute.’Do you think you need it too?’ I remained silent. ‘How are you doing?’

– ‘I’m good.’ Another question that i hated.

– ‘That doesn’t sound like an honest answer.’

– ‘It didn’t sound like an honest question.’

– ‘Do you think i’m a dishonest person?’

– ‘No. I just think it’s… not a sincere question.’

– ‘Why do you think that?’ I sighed. ‘Tell me.’

– ‘Usually, when people ask that question, they don’t really want to know how the other person is doing. All they want to hear is ‘yes, i’m doing well’. Whether they are a good person or an asshole.’

– ‘What makes you think that?’

– ‘Just…Observation.’ My lips were sealed. He let go of a smile.

– ‘What if i’m really interested in knowing your state? What would be your answer?’

– ‘I’m good.’

– ‘Same answer. Why?’

– ‘Because i am.’

– ‘You don’t open up to people much, do you?’ I looked at him straight in the eyes.’Why is that?’

– ‘No special reason.’ He smiled again. He let a moment pass.

– ‘Tell me: why now?’ I didn’t understand. ‘I’ve been following your brother for few weeks, now. He told me about you, a few times. He told me he asked you many times to come before. So why now? What changed your mind?’

– ‘…It’s her birthday, soon.’ i whispered.

– ‘Your mother’s?’ I nodded. ‘When is it?’

– ‘Friday.’

– ‘And you felt like you needed to talk to someone? How do you feel about it?’ A ghost passed by. ‘What are you going to do that day?’

– ‘I don’t know. Probably nothing.’

– ‘Are you going to meet with your brother?’

– ‘Probably not. I don’t feel like being around people…’

– ‘You feel better on your own?’ I shyly smiled, my look was stuck on the carpet. ‘What are you doing when you’re alone?’

– ‘I stay busy: watching shows, videos, drawing, listening to music…’

– ‘Drawing? What kind of drawing?’

– ‘Euhm, whatever comes to my mind.’

– ‘What was your last drawing?’

– ‘A photography that was taken when i was smaller. I think.’

– ‘You think?’

– ‘I’m not sure that picture truly exists or it’s just a memory i made for myself.’

– ‘You don’t have it?’ I shook my head. ‘What was it?’

– ‘It’s my mom and i in front of our old house. She’s, sort of, leaning on me.’

– ‘So you recreated it?’ I nodded. ‘You think about her often?’

– ‘Every day. Every time i do something, i think about calling her, telling her everything.. But i can’t. Not anymore.’ I paused. Then a laugh slipped as tears blurred my sight.

– ‘What’s funny?’

– ‘Euhm, i…now that she’s gone, i want to talk to her. But, before…I didn’t have anything to tell her. That’s just… that’s just… fucking dumb…I’m an…hyprocrite.’

– ‘Why do you think that?’

– ‘I don’t feel like i have the right to… feel this way.’

– ‘You mean being sad?’ I nodded. ‘You know it’s human. You just lost someone you loved.’ As i satyed quiet, he continued: ‘Why do you feel like you don’t have the rights to be sad?’

– ‘I’ve never… I haven’t shown her my affection. I was cold and mean to her… I rejected her.’ A tear dropped on my hands.

– ‘It’s not your fault, if she’s…’ The psychologist’s sentence faded away.

 

Dumb sentence. I closed my eyes when that thought immerged in my mind. I took few seconds to recollect myself. Then when i opened them, i found myself at my desk, a dozen of files to work on for the day. Noises from the background gently arrived to my ears: people talking, laughing, greeting each other, sounds of printers, computers starting, keybord being smashed by cafeinated fingers. Suddenly, a closer voice pulled me out of that confusing state between reality and dream: ‘Are you ok?’ I looked at my left and saw my co-worker’s concerned face. I realized that my eyes were filled with salty liquid and my chicks were wet. My heart was pounding and my throat closed on itself. I opened my mouth to answer but words couldn’t get through. I stood up, apologized rudly and walked as fast and as discretly as possible to the bathroom.

As soon as i locked myself, i broke down. Fucking imagination…

Anchor

A day in my life, A day in my mind, IRL

I miss her. It feels like a dream. I feel like there’s a before and an after. And it’s noticeable by the way I’ve been lately. Am I gonna be this way til I pass away? Semi-sad every now and then, more often than before? At the verge of crying every time I hear something that she might like or say?

I was laughing right before he called. I remember having a good day: finished on time for once and preparing myself to walk out and embrace the sun that waited for me. When I received the phone call. From him. He never calls me. When I picked up, his voice was trembling, he tried to hold his tears. He asked me where I was and if I was alone. Then added that I needed to go home asap and not take any other calls, especially from my cousin. But why would I? And mostly, why would he call me? On my way, my pace fastened as my thoughts ran into my head. Something happened. To her. Something bad. I think I knew deep down what was going on but I didn’t want to jump into conclusion to fast. I needed to hear it from a solid source. As soon as I stepped into my appartment, I sat down, redialed the last number in my history and waited. Straight to voice mail. I tried one more time. Voice mail again. I decided to wait for him to call me back. Few minutes passed. Then, the sweet melody of the song ‘All of the light interlude’ came to my ears. He started with small talk, very small, then dropped the bomb. I didn’t know what to say. My mind went blank. We stayed on the phone for a minute or two: I asked how they found out and what could be the cause. Then he had an incomming call from our cousin. As soon as he hang up, I broke down.

The first thing I did after calming down, was my laundry. My rationnal mind stepped in. The next day, I had to go to her house and after that, I wasn’t sure of my staying. Oddly, when I lied down in my couch, I felt exhausted. As if all the fatigue I cumulated over the last six months just fell on my shoulders. As if I had to carry my entire world on my own.

The next day, I took my luggages, got into my car and drove for five hours. Five hours in a complete silence. No music, no thoughts in my head. When I arrived there, I saw three cars parked in front of the house. I recognized two of them but the third one was unknown to my memory. I stepped to the front door: do I ring the bell? Knock? I decided to go inside. I heard noise above my head. I went upstairs, widened a second door and paused. I saw my brother sitting in the hallway, facing piles of papers. Next to him, there was his girlfriend. She noticed me before notifying my brother. He stood up and walk to me. How are we supposed to act? Do we hug? Or… We greeted each other like we use to do, like two strangers. I did the same to his girlfriend, my cousin’s wife and finally my cousin. They all had those saddened eyes as they looked at me. I tried not to shed any tears in front of anyone but my cousin said something that made me almost crack: ‘My condolences.’ I nodded then turned my face away. Fast forward to later in the afternoon, we went to the funeral office. I held it down pretty well so far. But on our way, I got car sick. Usually, it’s just an headache and a slight stomach ache. This time was different. Way different: my body started to freeze. It started in my left hand, but I thought it was because I held the seatbelt too tight. Then it progressed in my legs to right hand. At that moment, I suspected that it wasn’t usual, so I asked if we could stop for a while. As soon as the car slowed down, I opened the door and stepped away from it. I sat down. The feeling slowly went up to my chest. I ddin’t understant what was happening. I felt paralized, I couldn’t move. It scared me. They told me to relax, to try to calm down. They put me in the car. They tried to reassure me. They succeded a little bit. Then I massaged my left hand, like she taught me once. I relaxed a bit. As I did so: I fell apart.

Arrived at the funeral office – I don’t how to translate that in english, sorry – they talked about what kind of care to did on her so far and explained to us the process of her funeral. Then we went to see her. My brother asked if I wanted to see her. ‘I don’t know.’ I was scared and didn’t really want to see her. It would make it all too… real. He told me to come anyway. When we entered the room, I saw her lying on the bed, in the middle of the room. I walked in front of her. She stayed still. Her chest wasn’t moving. Her eyes were closed. I looked at her, tears came up. I tried hard to keep them in, waiting for her to sit down and laugh to our faces, like she made a bad joke. But nothing happened. The silence killed me. I cried my eyes out in front of her inanimate body. I didn’t understand.. how could it happen? In between tears, I managed to say something: ‘This is so stupid…’ As he heard that, my brother took me in his arms. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone.

Thug Life

A day in my life, Imagination

I woke up in the middle of nowhere. My head hurted so bad, it took me five minutes to realize i was still laying on the floor. Floor that was filthy. Dusty. When i finally stood up, i scanned the environment. A desert. I was in a desert. I felt lost, then i remembered i was shot. I panicked on that thought and checked myself. But no wounds. In my disarray, i noticed a sound. A constant sound of what seemed to be water. Like a stream. I looked around to determine where it came from. Afar behind me, there was something shining. I walked towards it. When i came closer, the shining thing appeared to be a freeway’s barrier. The stream sound was the sounds of cars going from left to right, very fast. A bright light blinded me from the left. A loud sound deafened me. I was confused for a minute. When i came back to my senses, i jumped on the other side of the barrier. Few cars honked at me. I put myself in the middle of the way. A car stopped five centimeters from me. I stared at the driver. He looked scared and perspiring. I walked to the driver’s door, opened it and pulled the driver out. I took his place and started to drive away. Few seconds later, a memory struck me : i was with someone before i got knocked down. I checked all around me, hoping i would see him. But nothing. I drove back to where i woke up. I made few rounds. When suddenly, a silhouette appeared in between two bushes. It’s him. My friend ran out to me. He got on the car. A minute later, we were driving on the freeway and my friend pulled the wheel to the right. The car turned drastically out of the road. I hit the break. We drifted for few seconds then stopped. I looked at him, my eyes wide open. ‘What the…’ He walked out of the car and ran to a hole. ‘Yeah, ignore me!’ I followed him. In the hole, there was a car : a dark blue car, a little messed up. It’s his car. He jumped in the hole and got in the car. I followed him. He started the car and drove backwards. He hit a wall. Then forwards. He hit a wall again. We were trapped. I thought, ‘we can use a Cargobob to pull out your car’. He looked at me, a little light in his eyes. We got out of his car to jump in the other one. Two police cars appeared and pursued us. While he was driving nowhere trying to escape the police, i checked on a map where we could find a Cargobob :

– ‘There is one on the rooftop  of the hospital in town, but it’s kind of far away from here. It will take time. And there is another one, a little closer – but still far though – but it will be hard to get, at the military base.’ I paused. ‘So which one do you want : the safer but longer plan or the dangerous but less longer one.’

He took few seconds to think : ‘Or maybe…’ He didn’t finish his sentence and drove directly to a rural airport. We were at the end of the lane. The police lost sight and track of us. When we approached hangars, a shape of a big airplane formed itself. We hoped it was what we were seeking for. We came closer and there it was : a military green Cargobob. Nice call!! We ran to it. We got in. As soon as i closed the door, some gang members showed up. I looked at my friend. He looked at me with a small smile. ‘Let’s kill ’em!!’ I jumped out of the airplane, pulled a gun out and started to shoot at the gang. When i killed my first victim, one of the police car, we just got rid of, was passing next to us to get back to their base. Policemen got of their car and started to shoot at me. I took care of policemen then ran to hide behind a burned bus. I usually had a hard time to survive in a gang war. But this time, i had the police on top of that. I killed four gangsters. I felt weak. My friend ran out of ammo. I caught my breath. I shot few policemen but more of them came. I killed the last gang member and stayed in cover behind the bus. My friend recovered a little bit. I got the last two policemen on our way and we ran towards to Cargobob. We took off as fast as we could, and fortunately, escaped the police. My friend flew us to his trapped car. He tried to place the plane on top of his car so the magnet could grab it. But the maneuver wasn’t easy. After two try, he landed the plane between a cabin and a pole. He focused on his task and tried to take off again. A black smoke came out of the plane. It doesn’t look good. On that thought, i jumped out of the plane and made few steps. It took only few seconds for the plane to blow up. I laughed so hard! A shot came out of nowhere ruining the moment. I pulled out a gun and scanned around me. Cops found me again. I thought we got rid of them. I shot at them as they shot at me. A great battle, which i was losing, was on. I hid in the hole where my friend’s car was. I defended myself the best i could until my friend came back from the death. Few seconds later, as i shot a policeman, a car drifted next to the exploded Cargobob. I ran towards it and got in. My friend drove us away. Cops and helicopters pursued us. I tried to shoot at them. We went on the train’s trail, hoping to find a tunel where we could hide. A cop shot in one of our tire. Another tire popped up. We were drifting all other the place. The car became uncontrollable. With three good tires, i was able to explose two helicopters with sticky bombs. But as we were sliding at every turn, that became harder. My friend suddenly pulled over. ‘What are you doing!?!’ He went out of the car and started to shoot at everyone. ‘I can’t drive this car anymore!’ I followed him. We watched each others backs for few minutes but it looked like we weren’t making it. I thought of a solution as i emptied my charger. Then my friend noticed an helicopter flying towards us. It was different from the others. We were suspicious about its intentions. Until it landed not so far from us. We cleared our way to it. We jumped in and the pilot took us off. He bombed two helicopters and lead us away. After five minutes, we got rid of the police. Our savior landed us in the rural airport. Safe and sound. We put foot on the ground. I looked at my friend. We couldn’t believe someone would actually help us. We gave him multiple thumbs up as a thank you. When the unknown player took off, we saluted him.

Exciting moment

A day in my life

It was a tuesday morning, i went to school on time as usual and without any motivation in mind. I took a sip of water as i sat down at a table in the corner of the room. I looked around me : there only were four other students with me. And the teacher wasn’t there. I put out all the stuff i had in my bag to pretend that i intended to work then took my phone and started to play a game called ‘Piano Tiles’. After making a miserable score three times in a row, my teacher decided to finally show up. A slightly rush of adrenaline went through my heart. I hid my phone behind an intrument called ‘articulator’ and faked working. For about an hour and a half, i moved on in my work a little bit. ‘You mistook yesterday for Sunday again?’ A male voice surprised me in my back. I turned around and saw a colleague who, i assumed as he didn’t even took off his coat, just arrived. I laughed at him who made fun of me. ‘Nah, i just didn’t want to come. Too lazy.’ i replied. That small conversation broke my pace so i decided to try again Piano Tiles. After failing twice again, i changed the game. Now i was prepared and focus to break my score at Flappy Bird. I failed, lamentably, after ten trials. To recover from it, i decided to do something i knew i couldn’t loose at : writing. I opened a blank page on my phone. I started to type whatever came through my mind. As my finger slipped on my screen, i lost track of time. I looked up. No one was  as focus as the first thirty minutes of this day. I turned around and glanced at my colleague’s phone. He was playing a race game. I looked closer : it looked a lot like Mario Kart but it wasn’t the same characters. It was Angry Birds, in a car race version. It seemed funny enough to entertain me for the rest of the morning. So i watched him play. Then i went back to my writing for a bit, saving everything every two minutes. Then i looked at his phone again to see if he kept losing or  not. He wasn’t. He changed the game. It was a card game now , called Belote. I heard of this game many times before but i never played. So he explained to me the rules. Or tried at least, because i still don’t know how to play it. In the middle of his explaination, we heard a dull sound. We looked up in synchro. All we could see was a head beyond the wall. I rushed toward it, followed closely by my colleague. Someone just fainted. His body was trembling. ‘You take care of him!’ i ordered as i ran in the corridor to get some help.

I kneeled next to the guy that just fell in front of us. A rush of adrenaline came through my body. I didn’t know what to do when my friend told me : ‘Take care of him’. She’s funny. How am i supposed to take care of him? I started to put him on the side, an old reflex from a training i had seven years ago. An other girl from my class came to help me. I overheard her saying that this guy was having an epileptic crisis. She put his left arm along his body and told him to put his other hand under his chick. He unconsciensly obeyed. A second later, i heard footsteps coming closer really fast from the corridor. I looked up : it was her running towards us. Behind my friend, there were two teachers trying to keep up with her speed, panic on their faces. They made their way through to the student who fainted and started to dial 18 – our version of 911. The teacher didn’t even had the time to get anybody that the student came back to his senses.

I opened my eyes slowly. Everything was blurred. I heard voices but i couldn’t hear clearly what they were saying. When my vision came back to me, i could see the floor was really close to my face. What happened? My lips were warm. My hand was under my head. I felt my body was lie down. How did i end up in this position? I looked around. There was a big dude sitting right in front of my face and a chick was next to him. They looked worried. I tried to stand up but they adviced me to stay like this for a lil longer. I recognized two teachers panicking behind them. I finally sat down without their consent. I looked around. There were a lot of students around me, concerned and curious about what’s going on. One of the teacher gave me a tissue. My lips were bleeding. I just noticed. After a moment, they finally asked me the crucial question : what happened? I looked at them, paused and admitted : ‘I can’t stand blood’.

In everybody’s mind, that explained everything. The director must have shown his students an operation on a patient’s mouth. Everyone guessed there was blood everywhere as the dentist took off few teeth from his patient or when he stitched a gum. The director walked out of his classroom, passed in front of the student who fainted, and didn’t even look at him. Everyone was making jokes with him as he passed by. But what they were really doing was trying to hide his low level of care for his ‘students’.

A day in my mind

A day in my life

Today, was a weird day. It’s my borther’s birthday, so it should’ve been happy. Well, it was until i received a particular call from far away. The morning was normal. Under the rain, my shoes were way too wet, i need to change them. Buy new ones. Then at lunch i came back home – it took my half an hour but i felt like it was longer than that – then i ate and i was knocked out. For no reason. I took a nap. I thought i slept only fifteen minutes, but it was like two hours. It felt weird. Then i rushed back to school to attend to a reunion. Right before i went in my car to drive to school, i received that special call. I hesitated to take it not. I didn’t. So, i was in a reunion with other people, when i received a mesage from my brother. It was a message with a picture. I downloaded it and took a look at it : it was a picture of my father. A recent picture of him. I froze. Instantly.

I stared at the picture for a while. Then i looked more closely to it. Then i kind of smiled. The funny thing was that my brother and i love the concept of Windows 8.0 and the label Nokia. We both have one. Not the same. He has the Lumia 1025 – the best in my opinion – and i have the Lumia 625. And on the picture, my father has… Wait for it… the Lumia 925! – I think it’s the 925. I thought it was a funny and weird coincidence. Is it genetic? I don’t know. Anyway, my father left me a voice mail as i didn’t answer to him. It took me twenty minutes to decide if i wanted to listen to it. I did. He just wanted to get my brother’s number as he changed his phone recently. Well, few months ago. Maybe i should’ve answered… I don’t know.

My mom is not so happy about it. She got upset when she heard about him contacting us. She started to yell at me like i was doing or did something wrong. I can understand that she dislike the fact that he want to be in our life just now but not before. But why screaming at me? At us? Like, it’s none of her business anymore. It’s our problem to solve. Whether we want or not him to be in our life. I know i wrote that letter about him, and said that it was useless now for him to make any effort, but i have to say, i was surprisingly confused by the call and the picture. And the voice mail. I feel like she can’t say anything about our ‘relationship’ with him anymore as we are grown up now. Us being in touch with him has nothing to do with our relationship with her. It doesn’t diminish the fact that she was the one who stepped up when it was necessary, that she is the one who took care of us until now and that she is the reason why we are who we are. But i guess she doesn’t know that and that i might need to say it out loud… I’m not good at expressing my feelings.

Like other days

A day in my life

We are Sunday. The last day of a long week. I’m exhausted of working that hard for the last past month BUT it was worth it: i finally got a job that can be combined with school! So the fatigue is a good fatigue: i chilled all week-end to gather back some energy and keep going ham for the rest of the year and beyond. Now i’m going to sleep.

The Next Day

7:00 AM : An alarm rings suddenly, pulling me out of a weird dream where i was locked underground with strangers – but we knew each other, i don’t know how – and we were trying to save ourself from a zombie attack. Two of them came out of the dark trying to eat one of my friends from behind. I rushed towards them, knocked down the first one and strangle the second one until he couldn’t move no more. Then i let go of him, stood up and looked at the zombie i just killed: it was a human being… A man.

I opened my eyes, as the ringtone of my phone getting louder and louder. I turn it off and lie on my bed in a semi-coma for five minutes.

7:05 AM : I finally decide to get off of my bed. I get down the five stairs that separate me to the floor, choose some clothes and disappear in the bathroom.

7:35 AM : After a quick shower and getting dressed, i get out of the bathroom, head to the kitchen to take few sips of milk. I go back to the bathroom, wash my teeth, come back to my room to take my bag, my keys and i am ready to go.

7:40 AM : i look at my phone to check the time: 7:40… Too early. I set up an alarm on my phone, fell on my couch and take a nap.

8:05 AM : An alarm goes on. I wake up faster than before. I grab my bag and leave my appartment. I open the door of my building and face the fresh air of a motorcycle. I cough and start to walk slowly toward the tramway.

8:15 AM : Music in my ears, i arrive at the Victory Station. The tram arrive at the same time. Nice timing. I go inside and let myself drive for two station.

8:21 AM : I get down and head to an other tram station to catch a different one. As i get closer to the station, i check how long it’s going to come. 2 min.

8:23 AM : The tram arrive. I look inside to check if there is not any controller. I see a first man with a white shirt, black suit pants and a bag on his side. I start to get nervous. Then i see an other one. My nervousity grows. I keep checking. The doors open and i stared at them leaving the tram. They were just random workers. Pfiuuuu. I take the tram and let myself drive away with other students.

8:38 AM : I get down at my final station. I look up to check the time. 8:38: i have time. I walk really slowly. Ahead of me, i see two of my co-workers. They walk fast – at least faster than me – and i don’t want to catch up on them. With me, there are economics students that are going toward their university.

8:49 AM : I finally ring at the door of my work building.

8:50 AM : The door rings, i open it and disappear behind it. I open an other door. A woman is sitting behind a desk busy at cleaning all the papers that was left there. I say : ‘Goodmorning!’. She reply : ‘Hello. How are you?’ I smile at her : ‘I’m fine, and you?’ She just nods and whispers : ‘Thanks’. Then i enter in the next room where my boss and a co-worker work : ‘Goodmorning!’ They look up at me and reply in choir. I leave them at their job, cross a small passage and make my entrance in a larger room where most of the employee work. I scream : ‘GOOD MORNING!’ because of the noise they make. They all turn to me and wave, nod or say ‘hi’. I leave them to put my stuff in the locker room and to put my blouse on.

8:55 AM : I come back in the large room, take my seat and start to work.

11:04 AM : My arm starts to ache and my eyes are getting tired of being open. They want to sleep more.

11:06 AM : I start to get hungry. My stomach makes noises and my right hand tremble a little bit. My mind can’t stop thinking about what i’m about to eat : some fat Mac Donalds.

11:58 Am : I put down my work, stand up and put off my blouse as everyone else started to leave to get lunch. I go to the locker room, take my bag and say : ‘Have a nice lunch’ to everyone i see.

12:00 PM : I’m out, heading to Mac Donalds. I have two hours to eat so i’m taking my time to go there.

12:10 PM : I wait in the line to order my food. Therer a lot of high school students. I never noticed there was an high school just right in front of this Mac Donalds. They are well placed.

12:04 PM : An employee come to me : ‘Hi! I’m here to take your order and you will pay at the checkout, right in front of you.’ I nod and order a menu maxi best of Mc Chicken with fries and Coke. She registers everything and a tiket comes out of her little machine. I take it and wait again.

12:06 PM : I give my ticket to the girl who works at the checkout. She asks me : ‘Is it to go?’ I shake my head and she starts to prepare my tray.

12:08 PM : I take a seat next to a window and begin my meal.

12:38 PM : I finish my ‘plate’ and push it a lil further on the table. I put a book out of my bag with a pencil and a gum. Then i start to draw.

1:04 PM : My eyes are closing themself. So i took a nap after setting up an alarm.

1:05 PM : I open my eye and realize i just fell asleep. I keep drawing until fifteen to one.

1:45 PM : I leave Mc Donalds to go back at work.

4:35 PM : I look up at the clock. I wanna go home!! My arm still ache and I’m starting to get hungry again

6:00 PM : I pack all my stuff, leave the locker room, say goodbye to everyone and walk slower than ever to home.

6:10 PM : I wait at the train station. He’s arriving in two minutes.

6:14 PM : They need to reconsiderate their minutes…

6:29 PM : I switch tram.

6:35 PM : I get down and walk to home.

6:55 PM : I am at home. I put my bag on the floor next to the couch. turn on my computer and the TV. I open my window to ventilate my room. I go to the kitchen to grab something to eat and to drink, bring it all in the main room of this small cosy appartment and fall on my couch. I’m checking my mails, my sites. Wow! Lots of comments. Nice. I answer to some of them.

8:20 PM : I finish eating – yes, it takes me that long – and begin to work on my lessons to be ready for my finals in few months.

9:00 PM : I answer to my mom’s call.

9:45 PM : She calls again. We speak for only two minutes. Why she call?

11:45 PM : I take my longboard, go outside to breath some fresh air.

11:55 PM : I come back home. I put away my board, put on my pajamas, climb on my bed and fall of it like a beached whale.

12:00 AM : I fall asleep.

The next day, around one o’clock in the afternoon, someone caught me drawing. The girl was joigned by her friends and they started to talk to me for twenty minutes. At the end of it, i gave them my card and left.

When i think about it, it’s pretty much how my days are now. Except that i will be more focuse on what i do. So my to-do list is reachable. All I need to do now is be focus… Argh, not today: i love my lazyness.