Therapy

A day in my life, A day in my mind, Imagination, Random Thoughts

I waited five minutes before the only door at the end of the hallway opened. A man appeared behind it. A dark suit on with a white shirt and a red tie. I thought it was a bit too dress up for a psychologist. But whatever. I stood up as he greeted me then suggested i enter in his office. The room was pretty large, allowing a desk surrounded by three chairs, a couch and a library to coexist. It was quiet. The closed door isolated us from any sound coming from the outside world. A bubble. Safe and dangerous at the same time. He offered me a seat on the couch, right away. I waited for him to sit first then mimicked him. I sat at the edge, far away from him. I look at him: he had a notebook he already wrote on. When he was done, he looked up to me, gave me a smile then waited. After a long minute, anxiety grew in me.

– ‘What are we supposed to talk about?’ i asked.

– ‘I don’t know. What do you want to talk about?’ he replied.

– ‘Euhm, i don’t know.’

– ‘I see that you keep on looking around. What’s on your mind?’ The remark surprised me. I thought i was subtile. I shook me head and raised my shoulders as an answer. ‘You must be thinking of something.’ he insisted.

I hated those kind of questions: what do you think about? Do you trust me? Well, before you asked me that, i did trust you. Now, i think you’re suspicious. So, no, i don’t. When the psychologist said i must be thinking about something, my mind went blank: i stayed quiet. He looked at his watch. I checked the clock on the wall. Seven minutes has passed.

– ‘So we just let the hour pass in silence?’ I slightly nodded. ‘Why did you came here for, then?’ He asked.

– ‘I was asked to. My brother… asked me to.’

– ‘And you always do what he ask you to do?’

– ‘Not always.’

– ‘Why did you choose to do this?’ I thought about it: i was about to say that i didn’t know, but, obviously, it would end the conversation short.

– ‘I don’t know.’ I said it anyway. ‘By curiosity… I guess’ He wrote it down.

– ‘Just out of curiosity? Do you know why he asked you to come to therapy?’

– ‘Euhm, i guess because he’s going to therapy himself. Maybe he wants me to experience the same thing. So that i can undersand.’

– ‘Understand what?’

– ‘Why he’s going to therapy.’

– ‘And do you understand it?’

– ‘I do.’

– ‘Sounds like you didn’t need this to get it.’ I smiled. ‘And why do you think he’s going to therapy?’ I took a minute.’Do you think you need it too?’ I remained silent. ‘How are you doing?’

– ‘I’m good.’ Another question that i hated.

– ‘That doesn’t sound like an honest answer.’

– ‘It didn’t sound like an honest question.’

– ‘Do you think i’m a dishonest person?’

– ‘No. I just think it’s… not a sincere question.’

– ‘Why do you think that?’ I sighed. ‘Tell me.’

– ‘Usually, when people ask that question, they don’t really want to know how the other person is doing. All they want to hear is ‘yes, i’m doing well’. Whether they are a good person or an asshole.’

– ‘What makes you think that?’

– ‘Just…Observation.’ My lips were sealed. He let go of a smile.

– ‘What if i’m really interested in knowing your state? What would be your answer?’

– ‘I’m good.’

– ‘Same answer. Why?’

– ‘Because i am.’

– ‘You don’t open up to people much, do you?’ I looked at him straight in the eyes.’Why is that?’

– ‘No special reason.’ He smiled again. He let a moment pass.

– ‘Tell me: why now?’ I didn’t understand. ‘I’ve been following your brother for few weeks, now. He told me about you, a few times. He told me he asked you many times to come before. So why now? What changed your mind?’

– ‘…It’s her birthday, soon.’ i whispered.

– ‘Your mother’s?’ I nodded. ‘When is it?’

– ‘Friday.’

– ‘And you felt like you needed to talk to someone? How do you feel about it?’ A ghost passed by. ‘What are you going to do that day?’

– ‘I don’t know. Probably nothing.’

– ‘Are you going to meet with your brother?’

– ‘Probably not. I don’t feel like being around people…’

– ‘You feel better on your own?’ I shyly smiled, my look was stuck on the carpet. ‘What are you doing when you’re alone?’

– ‘I stay busy: watching shows, videos, drawing, listening to music…’

– ‘Drawing? What kind of drawing?’

– ‘Euhm, whatever comes to my mind.’

– ‘What was your last drawing?’

– ‘A photography that was taken when i was smaller. I think.’

– ‘You think?’

– ‘I’m not sure that picture truly exists or it’s just a memory i made for myself.’

– ‘You don’t have it?’ I shook my head. ‘What was it?’

– ‘It’s my mom and i in front of our old house. She’s, sort of, leaning on me.’

– ‘So you recreated it?’ I nodded. ‘You think about her often?’

– ‘Every day. Every time i do something, i think about calling her, telling her everything.. But i can’t. Not anymore.’ I paused. Then a laugh slipped as tears blurred my sight.

– ‘What’s funny?’

– ‘Euhm, i…now that she’s gone, i want to talk to her. But, before…I didn’t have anything to tell her. That’s just… that’s just… fucking dumb…I’m an…hyprocrite.’

– ‘Why do you think that?’

– ‘I don’t feel like i have the right to… feel this way.’

– ‘You mean being sad?’ I nodded. ‘You know it’s human. You just lost someone you loved.’ As i satyed quiet, he continued: ‘Why do you feel like you don’t have the rights to be sad?’

– ‘I’ve never… I haven’t shown her my affection. I was cold and mean to her… I rejected her.’ A tear dropped on my hands.

– ‘It’s not your fault, if she’s…’ The psychologist’s sentence faded away.

 

Dumb sentence. I closed my eyes when that thought immerged in my mind. I took few seconds to recollect myself. Then when i opened them, i found myself at my desk, a dozen of files to work on for the day. Noises from the background gently arrived to my ears: people talking, laughing, greeting each other, sounds of printers, computers starting, keybord being smashed by cafeinated fingers. Suddenly, a closer voice pulled me out of that confusing state between reality and dream: ‘Are you ok?’ I looked at my left and saw my co-worker’s concerned face. I realized that my eyes were filled with salty liquid and my chicks were wet. My heart was pounding and my throat closed on itself. I opened my mouth to answer but words couldn’t get through. I stood up, apologized rudly and walked as fast and as discretly as possible to the bathroom.

As soon as i locked myself, i broke down. Fucking imagination…

Time (3)

Time

‘Pfff….Pfhahahahahahahahahahaha!! You’re kidding, right? Right? Oh no, you’re serious?’ Simo stared at his friend, his face as serious as it could get. Ezekhiel stayed quiet for seconds, he tried to contain his laugther. ‘I don’t care if you don’t believe me.’ Simo said as he turned his back and left the room. Those last words resonated in Ezekhiel’s ears. He reacted as fast as he could and grabbed Simo’s arm before he disappeared. Time froze. Ezekhiel’s mind was transported to his eighth year of life. He was standing in the middle of a baseball field, surrounded by other kids his age. Bats were thrown on the ground, particules of sand flew in the air. Ezekhiel looked upset: he gesticulated violently towards the group that kept its smile. Despite the fact that kid Ezekhiel was screaming his lungs out, no sound resonated. Ezekhiel had a spam and felt something between his fingers. He turned his head and saw Simo looking at him straight in the eyes. A strange feeling spread in Ezekhiel’s body, when a wave of dioxygen disturbed the atmosphere, followed by another one. And another one. Until the frequencies aligned perfectly: ‘BACK OFF!’ Kid Simo shouted. All of the other kids shut up. They stepped backward as Simo walked in between Ezekhiel and them. ‘Pff, it’s not funny anymore.’ one of them said before leaving. ‘They said…my…my father’s dead…’ Kid Ezekhiel confessed, tears flowing on his chicks. ‘They’re…they’re lying! He’s… He just left. He said he’ll be back! He said he’ll be back!’ Sobs didn’t allow silence to settle in. ‘He said: he’ll come back.’ The calm gained the boy’s mind and body. A urge to scream grew in him, but more tears came out instead. Ezekhiel remembered that feeling: being at the edge of facing the hard truth of reality. ‘I know.’ Kid Simo’s voice pierced Kid Ezekhiel’s thoughts. Simo turned around: ‘. I believe you. He’s gonna come back.’

As he let go of his friend’s arm, Ezekhiel found himslef back in his room. He gazed around then put his eyes on Simo’s. They stood in silence for a couple of minutes. Simo looked astonished and yet excited. Ezekhiel understood then: ‘I believe you.’

 

To be continued

Time (2)

Time

Bright. Yellow. And blinding. The sun was high in the sky when Simo opened his eyes. He sat down and looked ahead of him. The impact of the white dwarf created a crater in the middle of the park. The dirt has settled down on the ground, covering the green grass. Simo felt a pain coming from his brain. A strong ache. As he tried to control his misery, he heard a branch crack. He scanned the area when someone suddenly grabbed him by the collar then dragged him behind a tree and covered his mouth. They stood still for few seconds when a group of armed men, dressed all in black, invaded the field. ‘All clear.’ each one of them yelled to their partners. Simo felt less pressure around his chest. He turned his head to take a look at who kidnapped him. ‘Zeke…’ he whispered. The latter ordered him to stay quiet. They both glanced behind them: men in orange arrived carrying heavy cases. They started to analyze the object while the men in black secured the place with barriers. Ezekhiel poked Simo on the shoulder then showed him the way. As silently as they could be, they ran away on the opposite direction from the tumult.

Once they were out of any possible reach, they slowed down and mingled with the crowd. ‘What was that?’ Simo asked. Ezekhiel looked back, making sure they weren’t followed. ‘I don’t know. I just found you lying there. What happened?’ Simo tried to recollect his memories but they were fuzzy. ‘I touched it then…’ – ‘You blacked out.’ Ezekhiel finished. Simo nodded. As they made their way in the crowd, Simo was shaken by a passer-by. For a split second, something changed: his left foot sinked into sand before concrete reappeared. He slowed his pace before stopping. His headache amplified and the world spinned around him. His vision became blurry then darker and darker. ‘You’re alright?’ Ezekhiel asked. No respond. Simo lost balance all of a sudden then blacked out. The next thing he knew, he woke up in a room he recognized. Next to him, his friend was sitting in a chair, watching his computer with a particular attention. ‘Mmh, what happened?’ Simo mumbled. Ezekhiel raised his head then turned to his bed. He pointed a glass of water on the nightstand: ‘You fainted.’ As Simo drank few sip, he laid his eyes on the screen. Ezekhiel was watching the news about the white dwarf: journalists discovered its landing point and has surrounded the scientists that were studying the area. ‘It appeared, from the footage we received from one of our reporter on site, that the dead star created a relatively large crater in the middle of Kiho Park. But it seems that there is no object at the bottom of it. Scientists are actually analyzing and researching for the white dwarf….’ Ezekhiel gazed at Simo to have some explainations. The latter noticed a look on him. Thoughts and images of the lasts events ran into his mind. ‘It disappeared…?’ He finally said. His friend nodded. ‘You didn’t see anything when you found me?’ A silence passed, letting Ezekhiel time to think. ‘Mmmh, no. I don’t think there was anything.’ he replied. ‘What happened?’ Simo took a deep breathe and narrated his evening. ‘And what happened before you fainted today?’ Simo thought: ‘I bumped into a woman then… walked on a beach for a second.’ – ‘A…beach…But… we’re in land.’ Ezekhiel said. Simo agreed. He stood up then started to pace, trying to understand what was going on. He let his eyes travel on the room’s walls, his mind went empty until he realized he wasn’t in his room but in Ezekhiel’s: ‘Wait. How did you know i was in Kiho Park?’ The latter stood up and charged his computer: ‘You’re parents called me this morning asking if you were here… I told them you were still sleeping, then i figured you went to the park to see the star.’ – ‘Clever.’ Simo replied before yawning. ‘Well, thanks. I can’t think of anything right now.’ They both understood that it was time for them to go separate ways. As they were starting their handshake, Simo felt strange. The wallpapers faded, leaving room for trees. The bed and all furnitures disappeared, green grass replaced the floor and a gentle wind blew. Simo recognized the place. Kiho Park. He scanned around him and saw Ezekhiel running towards someone sitting on the grass. He grabbed him then dragged him behind a tree right before a swat team got closer to Simo. The latter looked at his feet: he was standing in the crater. He looked for the space stone but there was no trace of it. Zeke was telling the truth. On that thought, he found himself back in his friend’s bedroom. ‘You’re alright?’ He gazed around, trying to find his bearings. ‘What? What happened?’ Ezekhiel insisted. Simo felt lost, he didn’t understand and couldn’t explain it. As he stood still, Ezekhiel poked him on his shoulder sending Simo deeper into paralysis. After a long ten seconds, the latter regained consciousness and looked at his friend with wide eyes. Ezekhiel reached for the shoulder one more time to bring him back to reality, thinking he went on auto-pilot mode again, but Simo dodged him. Ezekhiel felt a bit confuse. He saw a light in his friend’s eyes. ‘I..I think… that when someone touch me…I’m teleported…In the past.’

 

To be continued

Time

Time

December 17, 2016. Winter was coming. A cold breeze pierced the air but the sun was still high. Clouds deserted the sky giving no hope for a white Christmas. Although, citizens of Toai City didn’t give up on celebrating: streets were filled with last minutes shoppers, running around, not paying attention to one another. In the middle of the crowd, he stood still, looking up far beyond his sight: Simo Ha, 18, eternel dreamer, stared at the barely visible space that lay above him. The more he observed, the more he felt drown by the darkness of the unknown. Suddenly, a bird flew by in his field of vision, pulling him back to Earth. Simo overlooked his surrounding to situate himself then went on in shopping spree, going in and out of the freezing atmosphere. He belonged to that community that thinks they have plenty of time to find the perfect gift for their loved ones as long as Christmas day hasn’t arrived.

Two hours passed and the night was falling. Lights were turned on, illumanting sidewalks, fake trees and ornements placed on shop signs. As time went by, Simo began to lose faith in finding something special for his parents. His mind shut down and his body went on auto-pilot. He walked away from the main street where all animations happened, his eyes locked on the dark ground. When two strong flashlights blinded him. A hand grabbed and pulled him strongly to the left: Simo’s consciousness resurfaced to regain control. He scanned his arm from his own hand to the one that saved him. ‘Ezekhiel?’ he said. The latter looked at him with frowned brows: ‘What’re you doing?’ Simo froze for a second then realized a car almost ran him over. ‘Wow!! That was a close one. Thanks, man!’ he replied. His friend shook his head before leading the way back to civilisation: ‘You have to stop doing that thing.’ Simo followed him: ‘What thing?’ – ‘Your auto-pilot thing. You’re gonna get kill, one day. Not paying attention, and just…be that vulnerable all the time.’ Simo listened his friend lecturing him with one ear, as they were making their way through the crowd. As the time to go home rang, they stopped by a small park. They crossed the semi-jungle to end up in a perfectly circular clear space. Simo let himself fall on the grass while Ezekhiel stood still. The night was clear. The moon shone brightly amongst the stars. No clouds still. Simo closed his eyes as a breeze passed by and took a deep breathe. When he opened them slowly, the entire forest got quiet. Both nature and humans were in peace.

The next day, Simo woke up in the beginning of the afternoon. His head pounded like a hammer and his vision was blurry. He went downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed some cereals and milk and ate, ignoring his parents. ‘1:00 pm. That’s a record.’ his father said, making his mother giggle. In response to the sarcasm, Simo yawned and focused on his food, shutting down his senses. After few bites, his hearing came back: the television was on a special flash of information. The journalist started her news with an expose about the universe. The dark, unknown and infinite space that fascinates many scientists.

‘Since the discover of the existence of a white dwarf, the becoming of a large star after many years of thermonuclear reactions, in 1783 by William Herschel, scientists kept on scanning different part of space and evolution of stars to understand their caracteristics and behaviours: their temperature can reach 150 000 Kelvin and lower to 4 000 K; their light decrease as they lose temperature. As a white dwarf doesn’t have any source of energy by itself, hydrogen and helium are consumed by chemical reactions at the surface of the small star. The coldest they observed is the white dwarf, named WD 0346+246, and it reaches about 3 900 K. But scientists explain that in humanity lifetime, we will never see a white dwarf attain the absolute zero. 

This leads us to six years ago where Joshua Aikon, a scientist considered mad by his peers, uncovers a white dwarf with an abnormal low temperature in our solar system. The scientist kept an eye on its evolution and noted some odd behaviours: indeed, this white dwarf’s temperature decreased exponentially fast. After confirming his observations, Aikon shared his thoughts and fears with few close scientist friends. Those latters kept an eye on the white dwarf and noticed a movement from its original position. Two years ago, they realized that it was attracted slowly by a gravitation force from the sun. From that observation, they contacted the governement to warn them of a potential danger. The latter decided to keep it a secret as to prevent any type of panic amongst the population.

Against all pressure and opinion, one of the initial scientists, that wish to remain anonymous, sent us a folder explaining all of this. He revealed on his latest notes that according the speed of the white dwarf and Earth trajectory, there is a chance of 4% that they collide. According to his calcuations, …’

Simo’s eyes widened like a revelation struck him. He jumped off of his seat, knocking his bol of cereals, disappeared in his room and ran outside his phone to his ear. ‘Zeke! Wake up! Meet me at the park!’ Simo ran as fast as he could. His focus was on the blue sky, trying to catch any sign of the small star. Arrived at the park, Ezekhiel was already there. ‘Wow! You’re fast!’ Simo said. ‘I was already awake when you called. So what’s going on? You sounded…and look over-excited. And what took you so long?’ Simo had a huge smile on his face: ‘Did you watch the news?’ Ezekhiel shook his head. Simo pointed the sky, stars filled his eyes: ‘Something’s coming!’ His friend stayed perplexed and waited for the second part. ‘A white dwarf. A white dwarf is coming!’ Silence. ‘What?… Like a… very small caucasian human?’ Ezekhiel replied. Another silence. ‘What are you talking about?’ Simo asked. ‘What are YOU talking about?’ Both of them looked confused. ‘We’re not on the same page.’ – ‘At all.’ Simo said. ‘No, a white dwarf is coming to Earth. Something from space is finally landing here!’ Ezekhiel felt lost: ‘Alright, let’s start from the beginning. What’s a white dwarf?’ Simo pulled a book out of his bag and opened it: ‘Look! A white dwarf is a star that didn’t go into supernova. It looks like this. They say that it’s surface is hotter than the original star, and it loses its warmth. Apparently, this one has a strange behaviour: it’s moving!!’ – ‘Moving?’ Ezekhiel interrupted. ‘Yeah, by gravity. And it seems that it will hit Earth.’ Simo waited for his friend to absorb all the informations. ‘And so, when will it hit? And what does that mean?’ Simo took the book out of Ezekhiel’s hands and turned the pages from cover to cover. Fast, Ezekhiel thought. ‘Well, from the speed of the white dwarf and Earth’s speed and their trajectories, it will happen next week.’ Simo looked at his friend, his excitment still at its peak. But the latter froze, his look locked on the ground. Terror invaded his head and spread to his entire body. He started to tremble. Until a warm hand land on his shoulder. It took him back to reality. He looked at his friend: he had a huge smile on his face. ‘Don’t worry. According to its size, it will be disintegrated in contact with the atmosphere. It will end up like… that piece of rock.’ Simo got a small smile out of his friend. They kept on talking about space for the rest of the afternoon.

For the next few days, the news were filled with discussions, debates and informations about the white dwarf and the eventual end of the world. Religious speculated it was an act of God and humanity needed to pray for forgivness for all of its sins. Scientists tried to convince the masse that it will barely brush the atmosphere and we will see a trail of light on certain part of the planet. They also predicted this event to happen on Christmas Eve. And politicians denied their knowledge about the situation. Population all around the world were in panic and disbelief. But no protestations happened or were recorded. The world kept on moving but in slow motion.

Every night, Simo dragged Ezekhiel at the park to scrutinize the sky. Simo was the one that mostly talked. As he was sharing his recent knowledge and interest for space to his friend, he felt the latter anxious and scared. Simo tried to reassure him but it didn’t seem to be effective. One the side, Ezekhiel felt skeptic about everything but began to be fascinated as he listened to his friend: ‘Where do you think it will land?’ he asked. Simo took some time to think. then pointed the grass. Ezekhiel was lost: ‘H…Here?’ Simo nodded, a huge smile on his face. ‘Precisely, here?…How do you know?’ he asked. ‘I did the math.’ Simo stood up and stared at the night sky. Ezekhiel looked at him, impressed by everything he learned in the past week. Why you dropped out of school? he thought to himself.

Since they met, he always thought that Simo would go places and be successful in life. But the latter wasn’t motivated by anything school gave to him. So he stopped going and got busy. Ezekhiel received a call every day from Simo to keep touch. And the latter always seemed to be busy but Ezekhiel never knew what he was doing. And he never asked either. He’s going somewhere. A smile appeared on his face.

The next day was Christmas Eve. Humanity was on stand by hoping that scientists were right about the white dwarf only brushing Earth. As the darkness came, people emptied the streets and cherished their probably last moments with their loved ones. Only one person dared to step outside: Simo was leaning over a tree, a book in his hands. He had a pile of books on his right and bunch of junk food on his left. Around 9 pm, as he finished the last pages of his book, something shone bright in the sky. Simo dropped his book and stood up. The fire created by the penetration of the white dwarf into Earth atmosphere grew bigger and bigger as it approached the ground. Simo stepped back a little. A huge deaf sound broke the silence of the night followed by a tremor that lasted four seconds. Smoke rose blocking the view. Few minutes later, Simo walked to the center of the agitation. The closer he approached, the more the dirt got thicker. He crouched near the impact: as he thought, the white dwarf’s size diminished as it went in contact with the atmosphere. It’s so small, now, he thought. Simo’s mind was atttracted by the space object. After his phase of observation, he reached out to touch it. The second his finger fondled the dead star, a wave of energy ejected Simo to ten feet, knocking him unconscious.

 

 

To Be Continued

Meeting

A day in my mind

7 billions. We are 7 billions souls on this big piece of rock. When you think about it. When you think about yourself amongst those 7 billions people, you are small. You are no one. Until you meet those that make you important. Those who prioritize you. Those who love you. Truly.
Amongs those several millions minds, I only had two members of this community that are by my side. At all cost. They are my priorities, my world, my anchors. My everything. Without them and because of them, I became who I am today.

I haven’t always been this way. Others would describe me as an introvert. Shy. A man of few words. But my friends know who I am. And why I became who I am now. A certain event appeared in my biography. Sad event where randomness, gun, panic, fear, misunderstanding, bullet and blood meet. That event changed me. I’m not afraid of admitting it: the loss is unbearable. It all went from white to black in one night. Since that moment, I shut myself in. My world stopped moving. My mind went into a deep coma. My body entered an automatic mode. The 6,999,999,997 other human beings kept on moving. Most of them don’t know. It feels unfair and inconsiderate of them to live their lives like nothing happened. But they don’t know. So it’s hard to blame them. On the other hand, few of them know. A very few. They also keep on living normally, but every time they are around me, they have that weird energy where they need to show their compassion, their understanding of my feelings. When it’s unnecessary. In the end, no matter who I am around with, I will never be true to them. I created a fake smile, a fake state of happiness so that I won’t see those pity eyes anymore. As time goes by, the fake became true but fragile. Every now and then, it cracks to fall apart. I try to keep myself together. Thinking that I have to. I need to.
After a while, I fing myself laughing. With my heart. Some random objects, sentences or behaviours remind me memories. Memories that used to be painful are now nostalgic. I understand now what the feeling of missing someone means.
The world keeps on gravitating around the sun. Days keep on passing. Then weeks turn into months. Soon I will experience holidays without them. Soon I will overcome this feeling. Soon I will feel undepressed. I’m fighting this darkness inside of me every single day, at every single hour, minute and every single second. I don’t want to become a negative person. I don’t want to project a negative energy into this world. There’s already enough of that. I need light back in my life. And I feel like I can’t have it from anyone else. No one has experienced what i’m living now. Even those who lost a member of their family. I will never understand their loss because I don’t know their relationship with the lost ones. I don’t know how much important they were to each other. I will never understand their loss. And they will never understand mine. So instead of waiting for someone to enlighten my mind, I decided to do it myself. Slowly but surely, brightness will overcome darkness. Slowly but surely, I will be better.

 

Mike had a determined look on his face as he said those last words. A silent followed. Then a female voice came from his right: ‘Thank you for sharing, Mike.’ The latter nodded as everyone repeated shyly those words. Few minutes later, after someone else spoke, the meeting ended. Everyone stood up: some of them took a cup of coffee to slowly get back to reality, others helped putting the chairs away and cleaning the room. As for Mike, he immediately left without a word. The fragile state of happiness seemed to have been shattered. He went straight to his appartment, ignoring few of his neighboors. As he locked his door, tears came up. His heart beat faster and faster, skipping a beat every now and then. He could barely breathe. He managed to put himself together for a split second then fell down on his knees.

  • ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

An urge of rage and anger needed to come out. He stayed still for a moment, tears flowing on his chicks. His body let itself fall on the side, defeated by grief. Slowly, tears became rare, thoughts left his mind and his muscles relaxed. He fell asleep.

Let me tell you a story (END)

Let me tell you a story

The next day, Isaiah woke up, his mind filled with strange images of human sized bunny running after one another. After a hot shower and getting dressed, he headed to the subway when he noticed two men glancing at him in an odd way. They had the same tattoo on their hands. Fanatics? The color red popped up in his mind: it struck him. The book. They’re probably looking for that.’ Isaiah didn’t pay more attention to these men. He went to work as usual and waited for the dark to crash into the city to leave. His pursuers stayed put until their pray made a move. Once the latter got out, they followed him for a moment, when he suddenly made a left turn in a small alley. As they walked in the shadow between two buildings, they saw him, sitting like a vietnamese drug dealer: he was waiting for them.

  • What do you want?’ Isaiah said as he stood up. A silence passed.

  • Where is he?’ asked one of the pursuers.

  • He?…Who?’

  • Don’t play games with us. Where is the protector?’ said the other one.

  • Protector?’

  • Enough!!’ yelled the first pursuer. He stepped forward. All of the emotions he tried to keep for himself, from the moment he saw his savior killed to the moment he will face his assassin, suddenly came out on his face. ‘He doomed mankind to its end! So you’re gonna tell us where he went.’ He calmed down as he got closer to Isaiah. The latter remained silent for a while. He glanced at his pursuer’s fist then replied:

  • I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

The calm tone and relax attitude of Isaiah made the pursuer loose his temper. He threw his right fist to Isaiah’s face. The latter dodged it then walloped his opponent’s stomach. He could see a reaction from his victim but immediately, an elbow hit him on the temple. He stambled away from his opponent. As he recovered, the latter ran towards him, jumped to hit him from above, but as a reflex, Isaiah rolled on the side and got back up on his feet. He locked his eyes on his ennemy and forgot his environment, when he descried something on his right. The world made a 45 degree turn. Then everything went black.

When Isaiah opened his eyes, a bright light blinded him. He blinked a few times to get his vision back. He looked around: he was laying in bed in the middle of a room. On his left side, a woman was sleeping in a chair, covered by a blanket. Next to her, an image moved in synchronization with a sound. At the feet of his bed, his clothes were folded in a bag on a small table. In front of his bed there was a door, slightly opened, leading to a bathroom. On his right, another door gave to a hallway where people dressed in a uniform walked back and forth. Isaiah tried to sit but his body didn’t respond as much as he wanted. Hefelt a discomfort in his left arm and llooked down. A needle was taped into it. ‘Aaaah…’ is all he could say. The woman next to him woke up. She smiled. ‘We’re at the hospital’ she said. ‘You hurt your head pretty badly.’ She paused. ‘What happened?’ Isaiah took his time to remember his situation. The book. He pulled the intravenous out of his system, walked somehow to the table, grabbed his stuff then disappeared in the bathroom. Half an hour later, he came out and stood still. Two doctors appeared in the room. ‘You need to rest for a moment.’ Isaiah ignored their advice and kept on walking. As he passed next to them, he whispered: ‘I hear you… But I need to leave.’ After struggling to get back in his appartment, Isaiah crashed on his couch and fainted.

A ray of sunshine found its way through the blinds and landed on Isaiah’s face. It woke him up. Slowly but safely, the latter found his bearings again. He went straight to his bed and dived his hands under his pillows to find it. He sighed, relieved that the two men who beat him up weren’t curious enough to search for clues in his home. He stared at the object for a moment. He lost himself in his thoughts. No one knows about this. But it looks like this story is real… That can’t be. No one can return to the past. It’s… impossible…. Or is it? If it’s fake, why would they look for James? That dude is way to honest and straight to be inrolled in any kind of trouble. Which makes this story believable. He’s trustworthy. But… Time travelling doesn’t exist… Yet. So in 2027, it will be…real. Wait, the first trial led Eden/Ethan to the year of 2023. His objectif was to sabbotage the birth of the timemachine. So in 2023, we can, theorically but with realism, travel through time… Amazing…. But not the issue. Eden killed Ethan. Which means that reality must have changed… Somehow. So this reality took a separate road from the ‘original’ reality. Alright… But does that mean that the world will still end? Is it inevitable? If so, what to do? How could we know? What could we do? On that last question, Isaiah started to brainstorm on an idea to actively change the world. Or more precisely, to change Humanity.

It took him several years, many obstacles to overcome and mutliple failures to count , before Isaiah could see it. In the year of 2026, where it’s written that the world’s selfdestruction is supposed to begin, nothing happens. At the age of 36 year old, facing the large window of his office at the top of the highest building in New York City, Isaiah whispered to himself: ‘Humanity made it right.’ Below him, streets were cleaned, people respected each other and violence was reduced to almost 4%. The same situation spread all around the world, slowly but surely. Isaiah made sure of that.

Earth and mankind are now on a good track to reconcile with each other.’ Isaiah said. His voice was low, I could barely understand his words. I looked at him: his eyes hasn’t change since the day I met him, only few wrinkles appeared now and there around his mouth, nose and on his forehead. His hair turned completely grey, it gave him a certain charm. His hand was warm. But weak. He squeezed mine as hard as he could. I looked him in the eyes. A smile was drawn on his face. ‘I trust you.’ I figured that he could see my fears on my face. I smile back. His eyes blinked in rhythm, closing slowly. The pressure of his hand decreased at the same pace. Tears came up. Before his chest stopped moving, I whispered to his ears: ‘I won’t let you down…’ He smiled as he heard those words. Then his hand let go of mine and his eyes were completely closed. ‘I love you, Grandpa.’

Anchor

A day in my life, A day in my mind, IRL

I miss her. It feels like a dream. I feel like there’s a before and an after. And it’s noticeable by the way I’ve been lately. Am I gonna be this way til I pass away? Semi-sad every now and then, more often than before? At the verge of crying every time I hear something that she might like or say?

I was laughing right before he called. I remember having a good day: finished on time for once and preparing myself to walk out and embrace the sun that waited for me. When I received the phone call. From him. He never calls me. When I picked up, his voice was trembling, he tried to hold his tears. He asked me where I was and if I was alone. Then added that I needed to go home asap and not take any other calls, especially from my cousin. But why would I? And mostly, why would he call me? On my way, my pace fastened as my thoughts ran into my head. Something happened. To her. Something bad. I think I knew deep down what was going on but I didn’t want to jump into conclusion to fast. I needed to hear it from a solid source. As soon as I stepped into my appartment, I sat down, redialed the last number in my history and waited. Straight to voice mail. I tried one more time. Voice mail again. I decided to wait for him to call me back. Few minutes passed. Then, the sweet melody of the song ‘All of the light interlude’ came to my ears. He started with small talk, very small, then dropped the bomb. I didn’t know what to say. My mind went blank. We stayed on the phone for a minute or two: I asked how they found out and what could be the cause. Then he had an incomming call from our cousin. As soon as he hang up, I broke down.

The first thing I did after calming down, was my laundry. My rationnal mind stepped in. The next day, I had to go to her house and after that, I wasn’t sure of my staying. Oddly, when I lied down in my couch, I felt exhausted. As if all the fatigue I cumulated over the last six months just fell on my shoulders. As if I had to carry my entire world on my own.

The next day, I took my luggages, got into my car and drove for five hours. Five hours in a complete silence. No music, no thoughts in my head. When I arrived there, I saw three cars parked in front of the house. I recognized two of them but the third one was unknown to my memory. I stepped to the front door: do I ring the bell? Knock? I decided to go inside. I heard noise above my head. I went upstairs, widened a second door and paused. I saw my brother sitting in the hallway, facing piles of papers. Next to him, there was his girlfriend. She noticed me before notifying my brother. He stood up and walk to me. How are we supposed to act? Do we hug? Or… We greeted each other like we use to do, like two strangers. I did the same to his girlfriend, my cousin’s wife and finally my cousin. They all had those saddened eyes as they looked at me. I tried not to shed any tears in front of anyone but my cousin said something that made me almost crack: ‘My condolences.’ I nodded then turned my face away. Fast forward to later in the afternoon, we went to the funeral office. I held it down pretty well so far. But on our way, I got car sick. Usually, it’s just an headache and a slight stomach ache. This time was different. Way different: my body started to freeze. It started in my left hand, but I thought it was because I held the seatbelt too tight. Then it progressed in my legs to right hand. At that moment, I suspected that it wasn’t usual, so I asked if we could stop for a while. As soon as the car slowed down, I opened the door and stepped away from it. I sat down. The feeling slowly went up to my chest. I ddin’t understant what was happening. I felt paralized, I couldn’t move. It scared me. They told me to relax, to try to calm down. They put me in the car. They tried to reassure me. They succeded a little bit. Then I massaged my left hand, like she taught me once. I relaxed a bit. As I did so: I fell apart.

Arrived at the funeral office – I don’t how to translate that in english, sorry – they talked about what kind of care to did on her so far and explained to us the process of her funeral. Then we went to see her. My brother asked if I wanted to see her. ‘I don’t know.’ I was scared and didn’t really want to see her. It would make it all too… real. He told me to come anyway. When we entered the room, I saw her lying on the bed, in the middle of the room. I walked in front of her. She stayed still. Her chest wasn’t moving. Her eyes were closed. I looked at her, tears came up. I tried hard to keep them in, waiting for her to sit down and laugh to our faces, like she made a bad joke. But nothing happened. The silence killed me. I cried my eyes out in front of her inanimate body. I didn’t understand.. how could it happen? In between tears, I managed to say something: ‘This is so stupid…’ As he heard that, my brother took me in his arms. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone.

Foundation

Love Story

Saturday afternoon. The sun was high up, heating the population after weeks of raining days. Few clouds persisted on clothing the blue sky. Windows of buildings blinded pigeons and other birds that flew low. A constant flow of voice resonated in between walls. Streets were filled with old couples, parents with kids , teenagers and tourists. Cars broke the crowd in two some time to times. Amongst all of this crazyness of a sunny day, there were two young adults walking side by side. They laughed, talked and smiled to each other. A strong bound tied them together. Their complicity could be felt miles away. As they made their way in the crowd, they came across few couples, young couples showing their love to the entire world. They both felt a strange vibe starting to flow around them. They shared a look: ‘You’re not girlfriend material to me.’ he said, suddenly. The girl was surprised by the raw statement. It came out of nowhere. She paused then said: ‘Euhm, i’m gonna head home. I’m about to sleep standing.’ The guy looked confused as she turned her back and started to walk away.

  • ‘Wait!’ He yelled to stop her. She turned around.’What are you doing? I thought you liked me.’
  • ‘I do.’ she replied without any hesitation.
  • ‘But…then…what are you doing?’
  • ‘I just said: i feel tired. I need to sleep.’
  • ‘But. Aren’t you supposed to chase me?’
  • ‘Euhm, no. You just said i’m not a girlfriend material by your book, so i’m not gonna chase you. It’s a waste of time.’
  • ‘Wait…’
  • ‘And the mood got awkward. You know i don’t like awkawardness, so i prefer to leave.’ She turned her back to him again. He grabbed her by her arm to hold her. She glanced at her arm before putting her eyes on his.
  • ‘Wait, i thought we were good.’
  • ‘We are.’
  • ‘But then, why do you leave?’
  • ‘Listen, if you don’t like me, it’s ok. Life goes on, i will survive. We will still be good. I will see you as a friend and nothing else. So we’ll still hang out as friend, if that’s what you’re worried about. But for now, like i said, the mood got awkward and i feel tired, so i’m leaving you for my bed, alright? So, see you later, ok?’
  • ‘And what about the gift?’
  • ‘I’m pretty sure that whatever you will get her, she’ll like it.’
  • ‘Wait! Stop trying to leave. I like you too.’ He boldly announced. A short silence went by.
  • ‘What? Ok, you need to explain things to me, because i’m lost.’
  • ‘I heard somewhere… I thought that if i said that, you will be more inclined to go after me…’
  • ‘Oh!!!! Reverse psychology!’
  • ‘Yeah, exactly!’ A huge smile  lightened up his face.
  • ‘Well, you thought wrong.’ He let go of a laugh. ‘But i’m still leaving.’
  • ‘Wait, the gift: i still need help.’ She sighed. ‘You said you will never let me down.’ She looked away for a quick second then sighed again.
  • ‘Fine. Why did i say that?’

As she said those words, they walked side by side again. A new mood was created around them. Another kind of awkwardness appeared. They glanced at each other: ‘Off to a great start.‘ she mumbled. ‘I know!’ He replied.